What happened to us?
by chicagopd99
Summary: After three years, Jay's still trying to process Erin's departure. Between anger and pain, he is trying to slowly get back up. But what will happen when a case will bring her back to Chicago. Will he be able to forgive her? Can they be together again or will it be too impossible to fix what has been broken? Is love enough? Love, pain, struggle, jalousies, hurt...This is their story
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! I'm writing a new story! I hope you guys will like it!**

* * *

Antonio was entering the bullpen with a paper on his hands. Jay looked up from his paperwork and frowned.

"Warrant?"

"Not yet." Antonio replied making his way to the board. "New mug-shot."

"We're sure he's gonna be alone, right? We don't proceed unless he is." Voight claimed as he leant on his office doorframe. "And when we do, it's a no-knock deal. It's all about the first three seconds of engagement."

"We lose the element of surprise; whole new rulebook." Antonio added.

"Who's their inside man?" Ruzek asked while sitting on his chair.

"Naismith's isn't saying, but they've had a narcotics cop deep undercover for 8 months." Antonio replied.

"And today is Christmas." Jay joked.

"And it's a record-breaking score."

"A brief little window of opportunity before it disappears onto the street." Voight announced.

"Eight months of prep." Kevin repeated, trying to realize.

"And they get to watch us fly in for the grand finale." Upton smiled, happy to finally take that guy down.

Platt arrived in the bullpen dropping some files on Voight's desk. On her way, she took a look at the board and stopped right in front of it, examining it.

"What's the deal on the guy you're taking down?" she asked Upton and Halstead exiting the break room, both with a cup of coffee.

"Name's Sean Keenan" Upton replied. "Got a boatload of priors, squeaked his way out of a couple homicide charges."

"He's looking at his third strike today." Jay added.

"Warrants in." Antonio said while limping up the stairs. Everybody stood up from their chair.

"We're up!" Voight said walking out his office and heading just like the others to the basement to gear up.

* * *

"I need you tomorrow night…" Jay said while he was helping Hailey to put her vest on.

"Yeah? What for?!" she smirked.

"Well Will and Nat are going to a gala and asked me to come by. Didn't want to go, so I lied" he cleared his throat. She turned around, and looked at him with questioning eyes. "I kinda told them I already had something… and you were the first person who came into my mind. And they insisted, I mean really insisted that I bring you to this gala."

Hailey giggled. "uh uh" she shook her head no. "I'm not going on a double date with your brother and her girlfriend. These two look like horny teenagers when they are together."

Jay chuckled. "come on. At least we will be together. it's just a gala, we go, we say hello and then we leave."

Hailey turned Jay so she could help him put his vest.

"Fine. We should be good." She finally declared "I mean unless any of your exes are gonna be at the gala" she smirked.

"Is that a problem for you?" Jay kept on the same attitude.

"Well no, not a problem for me…More a problem for you, see because I'm gonna be looking good and the last thing that I need is some jealous hussy reading into thing wrong, causing a scene" she sighed desperately. Jay turned around readjusting his vest and putting his earpiece just as Hailey.

"Guess I'd better take a closer look at the guest list." He looked at her.

"Guess you better."

Jay and Hailey have been used to this little game they often play. It's inoffensive, they were now very good friends for a long time and since Erin, Jay decided to not date any coworkers. Well, since 3 years, Jay never really dated a girl, or it was just for a few weeks or less. Hailey was a very professional detective who never thought about crossing the line with Jay. They were just friends and meant on keeping that way.

* * *

The team arrived on 2 bulletproof minivans in an underground parking. When they all got out, a man was waiting for them while one of his men were arresting two other guys on the parking. The man was Naismith, a narcotic cop.

"Greetings." Olinsky said while getting out of the minivan.

"Nothing if not punctual, huh?" the man replied.

"What, only two sentries? That's interesting, a day like today." Voight replied.

"You want a no-tip-off guarantee? How 'bout we round up the whole neighborhood."

Antonio throw a glare to the man while opening the trunk to get the weapons.

"How's it looks?" Voight asked.

"It's good. Just waiting on word from Geddes. Seconds away. Here's the elevator service key." The man handed them a key.

"Geddes' your undercover?" Jay asked while taking his machine gun.

"Harlan Geddes?" Ruzek asked.

"Yeah, you know him?" Naismith replied.

"Yeah, we were at the academic together. Had a barbecue a couple of weeks ago."

"What's his in?" Voight demanded.

"He's worked his way up through the ranks over the past eight months from, uh, low-life to mid-level runner. Trust factor's pretty high, so ass-hat's givin' Geddes a slice to sell to the neighborhood kids." The narcotic cop answered.

"Anything else we need to know?" Voight questioned.

"Yeah, you know about the double homicide, right?"

"Yeah-yeah, how'd he beat the rap?"

"Joys of the justice system. Look, if this guy feels cornered, he's gonna bite, okay?"

"Speed and surprise, we get it." Olinsky told him.

"Yeah, you do this right, Geddes gets a shower and shave."

* * *

Geddes walked out from the drug dealer apartment and after making sure it was cleared with no danger he took his phone.

Naismith answered the call and hanged up a few seconds after.

"Hey, it's geddes. We're a go."

 ** _"_** All right, target's alone. This is it. Let's do this!" Voight said "We're switching up: Jay, you're gonna be three, Antonio gonna take the lead entry."

"We're changing the tac plan?" Jay asked angry.

"Tac plan's a thing of beauty. Let's go." Voight replied not paying attention at Jay's behavior. "Upton, Atwater roof side." He added.

"Why?" Jay continued to argue. Voight turned around and looked at Jay.

"Because when you're democratically elected team leader, you get to make autocratic decisions." He glared at Jay. "Let's go. Everybody goes home tonight!"

* * *

A 19-year-old boy entered a building, he seemed perturbed and on the edge, not convinced that what he was about to do was the right thing.

Geedes was still in the corridor, ready to leave this place as soon as possible. His eyes met with the young man but didn't pay attention at first. It was after a few more steps that he stopped on his way out.

* * *

"Okay, Antonio, our guys are almost at the roof." Voight declared through the earpiece.

"Upton? Atwater?" Antonio spoke through the earpiece to know where they were.

" _Gearing up._ " The two of them were on the roof, putting on a harness to slide down the building alongside the windows.

* * *

Geddes who recognized the young man in the corridor ran back to his direction. The boy was waiting in front of the dealer's door.

"Hey, a waste of time, man, store's closed. Come on." Geddes said, trying to get the boy out of this place.

"I'm not shopping." The boy replied, still on the edge. Geddes was about to reply but the door opened, letting appear the dealer.

"Little man!" the dealer said with welcoming arms. "Look at you, eh? Look at you. Where you been all my life?" the dealer said before looking at Geddes.

 ** _"_** Hey, we're done. You get that product on the street. You're still on probation."

"Yeah, I ran into Jackson on the stairs. We should hit it, man." Geddes said, wrapping his arms around the boy's shoulders.

"You two know each other?"

"Yeah, Jackson and me go back."

"Interesting." The drug dealer said, suspicious.

"Jacks, man, we should shake it. I got you covered." Geddes insisted.

"No, I got a better idea." The dealer interrupted, realizing something was off. "This is good. Get in here. Both of you"

* * *

The team was getting more and more deep in the building, climbing the stairs to reach the right floor. They threw a little ball with a camera included.

"clear." Olinsky said while looking at his tablet.

* * *

Voight and Naismith were both in the minivan, looking at the camera of the building.

 ** _"_** Where's Geddes?" the narcotic cops asked, starting to be anxious.

"He should be here by now. Call him." Voight replied.

* * *

"Action on my go." Antonio said, everyone behind him, preparing to break the door.

 ** _"_** Three, two"

* * *

Geddes received the call from his boss and answered it

 _"yo, I'm still busy with my friend, okay?" he tried to avert them that he was trap with the dealer._

"Geddes is back inside." Naismith told Voight while hanging up.

* * *

"One." Antonio said

" _Hold, hold. Antonio hold."_ Voight said through the radio.

"Holding." Antonio turned around to his team.

 _"Geddes's inside. Plan's changed."_

"Boss?"

 _"Fall back, fall back."_

"Give me the tenant profiles. Now!" Voight ordered Naismith.

"All right, neighborhoods to the right. There's trouble left."

"Trouble stairs?" Voight frowned.

"It's under renovation." Naismith responded.

"That's good. _'tonio, sixth floor._ " Voight talked on the radio.

 _"Copy that._ " Antonio said while turning around to his team. " _Upton, Atwater, fall back to the sixth floor…Game's changed."_

 _ **"** Copy." U_pton said.

"So much for speed and surprise." Naismith snapped, looking at Voight who was sitting beside him.

This latter threw him a glare. This guy was starting to seriously piss him off.

* * *

"So, Jackson, you gotta meet up with your probie today?" the drug dealer asked the boy.

"no."

"No? Were you on the breakfast tv this morning, win the free makeover?"

The Geddes stepped closer to the boy and stopped in front of him.

"Yeah, guy looks sharp?" he put his hands on the boy's cheeks, making the boy looking at him. "think I could clean up as good as you? Shave and a haircut?" Geddes looked at the boy right into the eyes, trying to speak with his eyes. **_"_** So, like, I was sayin', we should get moving. I'll take care of you."

The boy quickly understood. "Uh, yeah. Yeah, okay."

"What about your money?" Keenan asked, frowning.

"Oh, I'll come get it later."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"No. Sit." Keenan ordered.

* * *

The team was leaping the stairs to reach the 6th floor before they met with construction workers.

 ** _"_** We need to ask you to evacuate while we take care of a police investigation in the building. Please exit as quickly as you can down the stairs." Olinsky said.

* * *

"You're going into partnership." Keenan declared. "You remember what I promised you? Big things. I keep my promises, little man. This is me saying, 'I want you back.' Show of faith. It's on me."

The boy wasn't feeling good. The more time he passes in this apartment the more he realized he was doing a big mistake.

"How much did you say you needed, huh?" the dealer motioned his head toward the table where little bags of cocaine were laying. "You take this to the street, you're back in the game. Maybe even got a little extra left over for yourself?" he smiled.

Jackson shook his head. "Nah, man, I'm good."

"you sure you're good?" Keenan titled his head to the right. " 'Cause you don't look so good to me. And I'm not so sure who it is I'm talking to, who you turned into!"

"What are you talking about?"

Geddes once again stepped in "Sean, come on, man, chill. It's jacks. It's all good."

Keenan looked at Geddes with warning eyes.

"I'm talking." He looked back at Jackson "Can I trust you, little man? Look me in the eyes, 'cause I think you just failed your first test."

* * *

"Yo, we been lookin' for you, man." A boy was making his way to one of Keenan's man.

"What's up?" this latter asked.

"Cops on the roof bro" he said without stopping and walking away.

"it's swat." He added.

Kennan's man looked up and immediately took his phone.

* * *

"Sean, come on, man" Jackson tried to explain "I just came here for a loan, I swear."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Keenan sighed.

"Okay. Okay." He tapped on Jackson cheeks with both of his hands, smiling before _a call snap him out._

Voight and Naismith were still in the minivan, looking at the tablet which was showing what was happening inside the apartment. Both frowned at the video.

"you getting this?" Voight asked

"Well, we got somebody else here."

"There's three individuals. Who's this?" Voight questioned angry.

"No idea." The narcotic cop replied.

* * *

Keenan's face became red of rage. He hung up the phone violently.

"I knew it! - I could smell it on you!" he looked at Jackson.

"Sean! Sean! Keep it cool, man. What's going on?" Geddes tried to calm him and ease the tension. He already understood that Keenan was aware of the presence of cops outside his apartment.

"You got your cop buddies outside?" Keenan asked

 ** _"_** Cops?"

"I'm gonna kill you, you lying piece of" Keenan stepped forward to Jackson, his fist ready to punch the boy. But Geddes intervened and tried to hold back the enraged man.

"No-no, no-no, Sean, I didn't call the cops, I swear." The boys tried to protect himself. "Sean, I would never do that to you."

"I took you under my wing, I gave you financial independence." He yelled at him.

 ** _"_** Sean, Sean, think about this, man, it's not gonna help us. Okay?" Geddes tried to discuss.

 **"** I'm only doing this because I promised my sister." Jackson explained.

"Look at me! You sold me out." Keenan got out his gun from his back and pointed it at the young boy.

"Sean, I didn't. I didn't." Jackson started to cry.

"Sean, Sean, listen to me. Listen to me." Geddes put his hands in front of him to make him back off. "Just put the gun down, okay? That's not gonna… that's not gonna help."

 ** _"_** I invest in you. I put my trust in you." Sean was still looking at Jackson.

"Look, let's think this through, okay?" Geddes was becoming more and more nervous. He realized this was gonna end badly.

"And you spit on all that to make yourself a deal?!" Kennan was yelling louder and louder.

"It couldn't be jacks, okay? Just leave the kid alone."

"You had a future." Keenan stepped closer to Jackson with his gun.

"Don't do it." Geddes tried to say but Sean pushed him aside and looked at him.

"One more word"

"Sean, please." Jackson pleaded.

"I trusted you." Sean was still pointing his gun at Jackson.

"It wasn't me." Jackson said looking down, with his hands in front of him to protect himself. Geddes looked at the both of them and knew he had to act now. So he jumped on Keenan, trying to get his gun out of his hand. But nothing came as he intended. A gunshot rang and Geddes found himself on the floor, lying to his own blood leaving a terrified Jackson.

* * *

 ** _"_** Officer down!" Voight yelled at the radio before taking his phone to call 911 "E.M.T. 195 Lake shore drive. No siren, no siren." Voight ordered while getting out of the minivan. Naismith followed.

 ** _"_** Get him out. Get him out." Naismith shouted at Voight.

"No, Keenan's still armed; two people in the crossfire." Voight said. If they intervened now, the boy would be in danger.

"Your guys are at the door, get him out!"

* * *

"You still alive, douche? You want some more?" Keenan yelled at the man on the floor.

"No, no, no, no, no! Don't kill him. He's a cop!" Jackson tried to push the dealer away from the body.

"He's not a cop, he's a lousy-"

"he's a cop, okay? He's a cop. Don't kill him. Don't make it worse."

"You know he's a cop and you don't tell me?" Keenan yelled back at Jackson.

"I didn't know, okay? I just recognized him just now. He's one of the guys that arrested me."

* * *

 ** _"_** We need a new entry plan." Voight declared on the radio.

"There's no time. We should be in there already." Jay responded, he didn't understand why they weren't acting.

* * *

Kennan was on the edge, he wiped his forehead with his hand holding the gun. He took a minute to regain himself.

"Okay you're not going anywhere. It's You and me, little man. Let's do this. Bolt the door!" He ordered before making his way to the kitchen. He opened some cupboard and took out bricks of cocaine.

"yeah." Jackson said as he went to bolt the door as requested.

Suddenly the phone rang. Both looked at each other and then at the home phone. Keenan walked forward and answered.

"Yeah"

 _"This is sergeant Hank Voight with the Chicago police department. Am I speaking with Sean Keenan?"_

"Yes you are. How can I help you, Hank?" Keenan replied while taking some bricks of cocaine and walking in the bathroom to threw everything in the toilet.

" _You want to tell me what's going on here today?_ " Voight asked.

"Why, Hank? What's on your mind, hmm?" Keenan began to make round trips between the kitchen where all the bricks of cocaine were laying and the bathroom.

* * *

"Option a: We let the boss talk him out. Option b: We try to isolate Keenan, maybe we got a shot at a clean rescue." Antonio stated, looking at the map of the apartment he had under his eyes.

"What about immediate entry?" Jay insisted, still not understanding the passivity of the team in front of this case.

"Jay, hold off." Antonio replied, glaring at him for the 10th time.

"You know what, Sean, let's cut the pleasantries and get to the point, okay? We both know why my team and I are here, right?" Voight was talking to Keenan while climbing the stairs to join his team.

"Yeah? Well, why don't you tell me all about it." Keenan was still throwing his drugs away.

* * *

"Hey, man, hang on" Jackson kneeled down next to Geddes. "Easy, easy, easy." He said as the man was gasping. "You're gonna be okay, all right."

"You gotta- you should get out." The man whimpered.

"You know how I remember you? At the green grouse, it was you who arrested me." Jackson tried to get his mind off.

"sorry." The man closed his eyes at the pain on his abdomen.

"No-no-no, man, don't be sorry. Turned my life around." He giggled nervously. How was he gonna get out of this mess.

"Kid go on, get out." Geddes insisted. He knew the cops would intervene soon and didn't want the kid to be hurt accidently, or by Keenan.

* * *

"We got a guy dying in there." Jay said with greeted teeth.

"He's in the line of fire. And we also have an unknown who's in the line of fire." Olinsky replied.

"What are we saving cops or we saving drug dealers?" Jay scoffed.

"Jay." Antonio had enough of Jay's attitude.

"I'm just saying."

"He had the gun pointed at the kid." Olinsky tried to explain the situation to Jay because obviously this later don't understand the danger for the kid.

"We do an explosive entry, flash bangs-" Jay continued.

"Keenan still has time to fire his weapon." Antonio shook his head.

"He's right. We got more than one life here." Upton joined the men's opinion.

"I'm not putting this kid at risk." Antonio said, looking at the tablet which was showing the apartment of Keenan and the position of everyone in there.

Voight arrived, his phone on his ear. **_"_** 'Cause there's only a couple of ways this can go, right? We're not looking for more people to get hurt."

Voight put his phone on his chest so that Keenan wouldn't hear what was gonna come out from the detective's mouths. He looked at Antonio.

"This guy's on his third strike. It's gonna be all about the blaze of glory." Antonio said.

"How's Geddes doing?" Voight asked.

"He's hanging in there. I don't know how much longer." Olinsky replied.

"Options." Voight said to Antonio before putting back his phone to his ear. "Sean, we can resolve this, peacefully, right now, if you make the right choice. Place your weapon on the floor and you come out your door."

 _"Okay, Hank, I hear ya." He replied, going back to the kitchen. "Just need to think over my options over here."_

 ** _"_** well, you do. You think about those options, but you think about them very carefully because you're already apprehended, right? That's a given. If you want to make things better for your future, you should think about showing us that you can make the right choice." Voight put the phone on his chest. **_"_** Running out of time, 'tonio"

Naismith's phone rang. It was Geddes number.

 ** _"_** yeah?"

After a few minutes, Naismith turned to the team "It's the kid in the room."

Antonio took the phone "Jackson. My name's Antonio I'm a police officer with the Chicago police department."

 _"_ _I want to help."_

 ** _"_** Okay, okay, let's talk. Jackson, you did the right thing calling. The man who's shot, how's he doing? "

 _"_ _Uh, there's a… there's a lot of blood, he's bleeding pretty bad."_

"Okay, is he breathing?"

 _"_ _Yeah-yeah-yeah, he's breathing."_

"Okay, his name's Harlan. Now I need you to do me a favor, Jackson. I need you to move your finger back and forth in front of his eyes."

 _"_ _No, no, he's conscious, he's fine."_

"Okay, that's good. That's good."

 _"_ _Look, um, I can't talk long, if Sean comes in-"_

"If he comes back, Jackson, just put the phone down. Okay, just put the phone down, but leave it on, all right? That way we can hear you."

Voight was still with the drug dealer on the phone. "You make the smart choice and that sends a positive message."

 _"_ _This is all my fault. This shouldn't have happened, I just, I just" the boy's voice broke._

 ** _"_** take it easy, Jackson-"

 ** _"_** _I, I need the money. I swear to god I was clean. I'm clean now."_

"Jackson, that's amazing. Are you doing the steps?"

 _"_ _Yeah, yeah. Eight months."_

"That's incredible. That's incredible. That shows me that you got a lot of strength; that you can do this. All right, you wanna help? I need you to wrap that towel tight against his stomach. Okay, he's still bleeding, you gotta slow that down. Okay, we gotta get in there. We gotta get in there and do our job. I don't wanna see you get hurt, so I need you to get out."

 _"_ _No-no-no, I'm not leaving. This is my fault."_

"Nope, we've got an ambulance on the way."

Voight came back to his team after hanging up with the drug dealer.

 _"_ _It's my fault. I'm not leaving."_

"Okay. Take a look at the door. Do you see anything unusual? Any booby-traps? Any wires around the frame, around the door handle, any-"

 _"_ _No, no, it's two locks and a bolt."_

"Good. Okay, that's good news. Okay, here's the thing, if we come in now, Jackson, you and Geddes are right in the line of fire. Okay, so what I'm gonna ask you to do is move him to the other room."

 _"_ _Oh, god, I can try."_

Jackson kneeled down next to Geddes and looked at him. "'kay, man, I'm gonna try and move you, okay? All right, ready?" He began to pulled him but the man moaned in pain. "Come on. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

 ** _"_** my name is Harlan." The undercover man said with difficulties.

"What?" Jackson kneeled down again to hear him better.

"My name is Harlan Geddes. Please tell my wife I, I love her."

The phone was still on, causing the team to hear everything Geddes was saying.

"we're losing him." Jay said angry, trying to get Voight doing something.

"The kid's putting himself on the line here."

"No, we got an officer on the line here." Jay contradicted.

"Careful." Voight snapped back glaring at Jay.

 _"_ _Tell my boys that I'm proud of them. And I love 'em, okay?"_

"Voight!" Jay yelled.

 _"_ _you're gonna be fine, okay, man? It's all right. I just I just gotta move you, okay? I'm sorry, it's gonna hurt. Okay." Jackson was terrorized while moving the man._

 ** _"_** Ruzek and Atwater gear up for rappel descent. Stay out of the window and prepare for flash bangs." Voight ordered.

"There's no time!" Jay yelled.

"Jay, we lost surprise. A window distraction buys us a couple of seconds." Upton stepped in.

Two minutes later, everyone was ready to enter the flat. Jackson heard a shot rang behind the door. The police were breaking the handle to enter. Then the next thing he saw was some ball coming closer and exploding, projecting him back. It was flash bangs.

 ** _"_** Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!"

After a few shot guns exchanged, the drug dealer put his hands up.

"police, get down!"

He put down his gun and kneeled down.

"Hold your fire!" Voight yelled "Unarmed subject! Get down on the floor! Get down on the ground! Get down! Stay down!"

"Get his hands!"

"Constable, likes it rough."

Ruzek ran toward Harlan Geddes laying in his blood, unconscious.

"He's still breathing!" he declared.

Antonio looked around and saw another body on the floor.

"Jackson!" he ran toward him and kneeled down.

"I got you, buddy. I got you. The paramedics are just around the corner." Antonio placed his hands on the wound. "I got you. You're gonna be okay." He tried to make him comfortable. The boy was gasping, he was in so much pain and was ready to close his eyes. "You did it. You did it, buddy. You did it. You did those 12 steps; you can do anything. You gotta just keep talking. That's it. You're gonna be. fine, just keep talkin'. You're fine. You're gonna just hang on. Just keep talkin' to me, all right?" Antonio was putting the boys head up to keep him conscious "Okay, you're gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay. You're all right, you're okay."

"Ella." Jackson whimpered.

"Who's Ella? Who's Ella, Jackson?" Antonio tried to keep him awake.

"She's such a goof. She she makes me laugh." He gasped, crying.

"Jackson, I bet she's proud of you." Jackson eyes closed themselves. "Stay with me, Jackson." Antonio tried to shake him up. "Jackson? Stay with me Jackson? Jackson? Jackson!"

Antonio gasped as he realized the boy was dead. He closed his eyes and made the sign of the cross.

* * *

Jay was outside, his weapon still on him. He saw Voight walking past him.

"Looks like Geddes is gonna make it. Too bad about the kid. How else was it gonna end?" he provoked him.

"I don't know. I don't know, but that is not your call! And maybe I was wrong, Jay.

Maybe." He pushed Jay back violently **_"_** But I need to know that my team is on my side. You go in on my command. Are we clear? I'm the boss here, I can make you leave this unit in no seconds." He threated him.

"Don't I know it…" Jay scoffed.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Jay was about to reply but Hailey arrived and placed her arms around Jay waist to make him leave with her.

"It's been a long day serg' " she said before getting away with Jay.

After a few steps Hailey looked at Jay. "You need to stop this attitude toward Voight Jay. Or you are gonna regret it. Seriously" Hailey tried to reason him but Jay didn't respond. He kept walking. Hailey knew what it was all about.

"Jay you need to move on. It's been 3 years."

"You don't know what you are talking about Hailey."

"Maybe. But you can't keep take it out on Voight."

"Hailey.' Jay glared at her.

* * *

 **End of the first chapter! I hope you guys liked it. Please review, the next chapter is on his way. Maybe Tomorrow or the day after tomorrow !**


	2. Chapter 2

They were all back to the district along with Sean Keenan to interrogate him. When Jay was about to enter the interrogation room Voight stopped him.

"What do you think you are doing?!" he said walking toward him with Ruzek by his side.

"Going in to interrogate him I guess" He replied sarcastically.

"No you are not." Voight replied coldly.

"What?! Why?" he frowned perplexed.

"Because I am the boss and I decide what you do in my unit." He raised his palm so that Jay could give him the fills. Jay looked at him for a few seconds and shook his head before giving them to him. He by passed him and went back to the bullpen.

An hour later, Voight and Ruzek walked out from the interrogation room. Both of them were a little perturbed, especially Voight who was upset. He seemed very troubled by what he just heard. He walked rapidly in his office and closed the door behind him. He sat on his chair and brought his phone to his ear. Jay frowned in confusion first and looked at Ruzek.

"What's this all about?" he asked him.

Ruzek shook his head in a nonchalant way. "Nothing important. We should wait for Voight to… finish his call"

During the whole time in which Voight was in his office, Ruzek discreetly peeked at Jay. This latter caught him several times.

After what seemed like an eternity, Voight opened his door and looked at Jay. With his finger, he asked him to come inside. Jay dropped his pen and stood up, obeying to the order. He was very curious to learn what happened in this interrogation room. He closed the door behind him and stood in front of Voight's desk.

"Sit down…" this latter said with a low voice

"I prefer to stand up" Jay declared.

There was a long heavy silence where Voight seemed to search for his words.

"We've been interrogating Keenan about his business." He began.

Jay was waiting for the rest of the story, a little confused about why Voight was behaving like this.

"He's part of much bigger thing. Keenan is part of a gang, a big one with a lot of resources."

Jay nodded, waiting for more information.

"And it seems like… before being on our radar… this gang was on New York's PD… before they lost him…"

Jay's posture straightened. He already understood what was all this about.

"Who were you talking to earlier?" Jay asked, needing a confirmation of his suspicion.

Voight didn't respond at first. He just looked at Jay. This latter wasn't stupid, and Voight knew that Jay already knew the answer.

"She is taking the first flight for Chicago…"

Jay hold his breathe and froze. A million memories came back to his mind without him realizing it. Good, bad memories. All the love, the anger, the deception, the pain he felt for her. He quickly snapped back from his trans and went back to the reality. He looked at Voight and tried to speak but nothing was coming out from his mouth. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Does she has to come all along? Can't you just send them the reports and Kennan with it?!"

"When they lost Keenan they lost all the gang with it… if we caught Keenan here, then his partners aren't so far…" Voight replied. He watched Jay's face fade, he knew this was hard to hear for him. It's been so difficult these past three years, for Jay, for Voight.

 _"_ _I can imagine how difficult it must be for you" Dr Charles spoke first after waiting for Jay to talk for almost 15 minutes._

 _Jay scoffed, watching his hands intertwined. "It's not difficult, it's simple." He looked up at Charles. "She's gone. And she is the better for it. She's out there. And I'm here." He sighed, looking in the emptiness. "Where everything is the same." He paused. "And yet while everything is the same, it's very very different." He smiled, leaving a brief silence. "Now I'm a ghost. That's not difficult, it's unbearable."_

 _"_ _I am sorry that you feel this way Jay."_

 _Jay looked up and let out a little giggle. "it's fine… we just… we weren't on the same page"_

 _"_ _Did you forgive her? For leaving…"_

 _"_ _Why would I…" he frowned._

 _"_ _because that's where healing starts. And just the fact that you are here should persuade you that you have another chance to get back up."_

 _Jay just nodded and stayed silent._

 _"_ _Can we talk about why you decided to put an end at your relationship before she left Chicago?"_

 _Jay looked up. Dr. Charles was tackling a sensitive subject here… He sighed as he realized he was gonna be here a long time._

"She isn't coming alone Jay; she is bringing some of her co-workers along. Once the case is done she will leave back to New York"

Jay slightly nodded, still trying to process the news. "And I know that we both have different opinions concerning her departure and that you partly blame me for it…"

Jay didn't contradict him. "-but know that I am here for you whenever you need me…"

"I can handle it by my self. Thanks." He replied coldly before walking out of his office. He took his jacket and decided to go home since it was late. He dropped his keys on the coffee table, made his way to his kitchen and took a beer on his fridge. After one sip, he set the bottle down; his hands gripped the edge of the counter and closed his eyes. He opened them again and walked into his room. He looked on his right to his dresser and opened the last drawer. He took out a box, opened it and stared at contents. He held his breath for the second time this day. He looked at the engagement box laying in there. He hesitated first at taking it and then all of the sudden a wave of pain hit him. All he could think about was one moment Erin and he shared years ago over and over. That same insignificant moment repeated in his head. He couldn't tell you why.

 _"_ _I usually sleep with a lot pillows." Erin paused for a moment. "And you know that I love to cuddle with you when we're going to bed but-"_

 _"_ _You're feeling on edge? He finished her sentence_

 _"_ _Yeah! A little bit"_

 _"_ _I…I don't wanna pull them out of the closet 'cause I don't wanna make you feel…"_

 _"_ _Walled off?"_

 _"_ _Yeah" She said after he finished her sentence again._

 _Erin." Jay said forcing her to look at him. "I'm gonna tell you what I would tell you a year from now, two years from now" she wasn't able to hide a surprised smile "twenty years from now." He continued and Erin titled her head "Do your thing babe". Erin smiled at her boyfriend. "You're amazing"_

 _"_ _Oh yeah"_

He closed the box and put it back in the back of the drawer.

He didn't sleep of all night. He just kept staring at the ceiling, wondering how this was gonna work. Remembering what pain she caused him for 3 years. He was still trying to figure out what happened in her mind for her to leave without a goodbye, no phone calls, no text message, no letters.

He promised himself he would never suffer again for a woman and here he was, laying in his bed, knowing that the next day he would have to face her.

At 6 am he got up from his bed, took a large cup of coffee, took off his yesterday's outfit and got into the shower. He needed to be on top of his form to affront what he was about to face today. He got out, pulled a towel around his chest and made his way toward his mirror. He quickly swiped the mist and took a look at himself. In spite of all his efforts to look in good shape, he looked like a wreck. He had dark circle, his beard grew longer during his sleepless night and he could feel his body exhausted, also due to his case yesterday.

Once he was dressed and ready to go to work, he took his keys and closed the door behind him. He got into his car and drove the same itinerary for 3 years.

Since he realized he would be late to work due to the traffic he called Upton to let her know and the team. This latter nodded and informed him that they were just beginning.

Jay understood that the NYPD was already there. He hanged up the phone and his heart began to race without his permission. The angst was so crazy, so real and he knew he had to deal with it. So he made a choice. He'd let the emotion in, let it take over, let it do it's thing but only for five seconds. That's all he was gonna give it. So he started to count. 1,2,3,4…5. And it was gone. He let out a heavy sigh and refocused on the road.

Once he parked his car on the parking lot, Jay took a minute to himself, took a breath and got out from the car.

He walked up the first steps of the district and met with Platt, behind her desk, as always. She looked at Jay and gave him a small smile showing her compassion for him. He nodded and smiled walked up the next steps, trying to only focus on the case and nothing else. This was the only way he was gonna get through this day, and the next ones.

"These aren't just drugs selling. This gang is killing everyone who stands on their way. We are looking at eleven murders here" One man said. Jay couldn't recognize his voice so he figured out he was from NYPD.

"Okay! We need to re-interrogate him to see what we can get from him!" Olivia Benson said.

They were all standing in front of the board, looking at the information the Intelligence collected plus NYPD's.

"I'll do it." Jay said as he arrived on the top of the stairs. Everyone looked back at him and stopped talking. Some of them because they didn't quite know Jay and the others because they could feel the tension filling the room.

Erin hold her breath at the sigh of Jay Halstead standing a few meters away from her. She knew the minute she was on that plane for Chicago that this case was gonna be hard to work on. But she didn't realize that this was gonna make her froze, feeling the blood flowing in her veins. Her heart sank, she couldn't move, she couldn't think, and now that she managed to at least move all she could say was "Jay". It was more like a whisper that no one could hear.

Jay looked at Voight and this latter nodded compassionately.

"I'll go with you…" Upton said as she noticed the heavy silence and the tension in the room. She stood up from her chair and made her way with Jay to the interrogation room.

"Thanks" he whispered to her on their way.

"No problem." She briefly replied.

This interrogation hasn't been efficient. Keenan wasn't talking and his lawyer was a damn good one. While Halstead and Upton were in the room, Erin and Voight were behind the glass.

"I'm glad you came kid…" Voight broke the silence, still looking at his detectives inside the room.

Erin looked up at him and let appear a small smile. "Me too" she said before refocusing on the interrogation. Well, she was more looking at Jay the whole time.

"How-" she began to say trying to search her words. "How's he been?"

Voight looked at Jay, knowing exactly who she was talking about.

"How do you thinks he's been doing…" he responded.

She was about to reply but Olivia interrupted the conversation. "Hank can I borrow you for a minute?"

Voight nodded and walked away with Olivia. Erin turned back her attention to the room.

A few minutes after the interrogation was done. Jay walked out first and pretty quickly. Erin exit from the other room, trying to follow Jay to talk to him but Upton stopped her. "Don't, please" She said.

"Sorry?" Erin asked her.

"Come on, look you can't do this, you don't have the right, not anymore" she tried to explain to her.

"I just want to find out if he's ok." Erin protested.

"He is not." Upton declared. "He is a human traffic accident and everybody's slowing down, looking at the wreckage…" she looked at Erin with soulful eyes. "He's doing the best he can with what he has left." She paused. "I know you can't see it because you are in it but you can't help him now. You'll only make it worse…". Erin looked down and nodded.

"Just let him do his job and then you two can have a conversation at the end of the day…"

The rest of day passed so slowly for Jay. He's been avoiding Erin the whole day, didn't even looked at her once. She too tried to keep herself busy, respecting her promise to Hayley.

There was no one left in the bullpen when the clock rang 9 pm. Jay just got out from the locker room to put some cold water on his face. He had a lot of paperwork to finish and even with the little hours of sleep he had this week he wasn't that tired.

Erin came back to the bullpen after talking with Platt in the precinct and realized that she wasn't the only one left in here. She slowly made her way toward Jay's desk. Jay looked up and caught her coming at him. He quickly looked back at his computer, determined to ignore her.

"Can we talk?" she asked. But Jay didn't respond and a heavy silent filled the room.

And she wasn't down with that.

"You could at least knowledge that I exist" she said. His face didn't move an inch. He just kept looking at his computer. "I think it's easier all round if we just have nothing to do with each other." He replied coldly.

"So what? You just gonna ignore me now? Avoid me at work?" she crossed her arms.

"I'm sorry, do you care now?!" he frowned, finally looking at her in the eyes for the first time. She didn't reply, taken aback.

"Yeah that's what I though" he got up and walked to the break room to pour himself some coffee.

Erin stood in shock, in the center of the bullpen before regaining her posture and following him. She closed the door behind her and turned back to him.

"I am so not doing this today." He scoffed.

"Jay." He winced at the sound of his name coming from her mouth.

"I will answer whatever questions you want" she declared.

"Did you ever love me?" he turned around quickly as if it's been 3 years he's been asking himself this question. Once again she was shocked.

"How- How could you even ask that" she frowned.

They hanged in there looking at each other.

"I never meant to cause you that pain" she looked at him with sad eyes. She seemed so devastated.

"Of course you didn't" he laughed coldly. "You know what?" he began to say as he shook his head. "You and I… I can't do this right now. I'm sorry." He walked toward the door to leave but she put herself on his way.

"Jay" she tried to make him look at her but he couldn't. It was beyond his strength. Instead he was looking behind her, at the door. She had bloodshot eyes. "We have to talk about this please".

"Talk about what huh?" he yelled at her. "How many more ways are there gonna be for you to rip my heart out!". It was all he said before bypassing her, opening the door and leaving her alone in the break room. She held the tears that were trying to run out, took a deep breath and walked back to the bullpen.

"I'm sorry…"

"Oh now you are sorry?" he continued to yell at her.

"Yes I am!" she yelled back.

"Okay! What are you sorry about?" he crossed his arms. "That you left without saying goodbye or that you didn't even called once to make sure I was okay or to even tell me you were even alive?"

"You knew I would be fine…" she said.

Jay nodded and scoffed. "Well at least one of us was!" he sat back at his desk.

"This is why I am trying to talk with you! So whatever you have to say just say it now so we can solve this!"

"I needed you to stay!" he yelled again, expressing everything he's been holding for years. She looked at him, overwhelmed by all the emotions coming out from both of them.

"And I needed to go!" she added desolated.

"And you went!" he was completely resentful. "you did what you needed to do. And then when all of this will be done you are just gonna go back to NY, where you belong! So there is nothing else to discuss Erin!" he stood up, took his vest on the back of his chair and walked away.

Jay was sitting on his couch, his head laying on the couch back, looking at the TV. He wasn't paying any attention to it though. All he could think about was Erin and their argument. Suddenly, a loud knock rang at the door. He closed his eyes and scoffed. There was only one person on this entire world to knock at his door at this hour, Erin.

At the beginning of their relationship, 6 years ago, when they would have had an argument, she always came to pursue the argument, wanting to clear everything and make peace. And usually, they would end up in bed. But this time, Jay knew it wouldn't be that easy to fix what has been broken between the two of them.

The knocks kept ringing, louder and louder. So for the sake of his head, he stood up and made his way to the door. "Go home Erin." He said. But Erin kept knocking.

He sighed and opened the door. Erin stormed in his apartment and turned around to face him.

"How did you find out where I was living anyway?" he asked annoyed.

"Voight!" she said in a rush.

Jay closed the door and joined her in the middle of the living room. He looked at her with questioning eyes, wondering what the hell she was doing here at this late hour.

"You can't be angry at me for leaving Jay. YOU abandoned me when I needed you. You bailed on me Jay."

"Excuse me?" he raised his voice,

"Yes!" she yelled at him. "I looked you in the eyes Jay and I begged you to stay and you turned your back on me like it was nothing"

"This is bullshit and you know it! this is not how it went!" he yelled back.

"The whole thing is bullshit Jay!" she yelled harder with a breaking voice. Jay looked at her with tormented eyes. They hanged there, in silence. Jay couldn't look at her. It was too painful for him. It was making him sick just to look at her.

"We can never be what we were you know? I can't forgive you." He said avoiding eyes contact. Erin let out a tear and quickly swiped it.

"I know. I'm sorry! But I want to fix this." She moved her hand back and forth between the two of them. She just wanted to be easier for them to work together and get along with each other.

"I know; I know you want. But you can't. Like I said, it would be easier if we just have nothing to do with each other." He looked down.

Erin took a deep breath while looking at him. "Right…" she whispered. She stayed in front of him for a few seconds to regain herself and then walked away.

At the sound of the closing door, Jay closed his eyes and exhaled deeply.


	3. Chapter 3

And before everybody knew it, the days had passed and the case was still far from being closed. Some of the NYPD's detectives came back to New York as they gave every information to the Intelligence. Only Erin stayed in Chicago to help the Intelligence close the case. But Jay was giving the team a hard time. He knew he wasn't as efficient as he should be and everyone realized that. And it frustrated Jay to be that useless and powerless. He and Erin barely talked since she came back. There was just too much going on in his mind. Voight tried to talk to him, proposed him to take some time off but this latter refused. He wasn't gonna screw his post in the Intelligence. He already screwed a lot of things in his life and his job was the only thing left that was preventing him to have a breakdown. So for the sake of his team and for his own well being he decided to clear things up with Erin.

One night he decided to go to her hotel room to have a conversation with her.

He knocked once at her door and waited for her to open it. Jay wasn't on the edge or apprehending to see her. He just wanted to get this done. Once Erin opened the door, she looked surprised. Jay was the last person she would have expected to be knocking at her door. She tried to read him but it felt impossible. She lost this skill for a long time now. So she stepped back, letting him enter deeper in the room.

He stepped in and looked around, waiting for her to join him in the center of her living room. Erin slowly closed her door, preparing herself for what was coming next.

She turned around walked toward him and crossed her arms, waiting for an explanation on his presence here.

Jay was avoiding any eyes contact.

He cleared his voice and began to talk. "Listen, um… I know I haven't been in the game since you came back, and it's making it very hard on everyone. We have a job to do and I'm putting my personal issues above every thing else. Which isn't me at all."

Erin nodded and looked down, knowing that she was the main problem in his issues. "I'm sorry, this is all my fault…"

Jay didn't contradict.

"So for the sake of this team…" he hesitated on the next words he was gonna said, which were very hard for him to say. "I forgive you…" he said slowly.

Erin quickly looked up perplexed and unsure. She examined the emotion on his face and her hopes of any forgiveness were suddenly gone. "You don't mean it…". She could see on his face that Jay wasn't convinced by his announcement and was just forcing himself to do it.

Jay looked at her surprised.

"It's doesn't matter if I mean it or not. We need to focus on this job and once the case is solved you'll leave and everything we'll go back to the way things were." He declared. There was a heavy silence, filling the room.

Erin nodded. "I wish things could be different." She admitted.

Jay looked at her, trying to understand her words. What would she mean.

"We can never be what we were you know?" Jay stated, making her understand that nothing would fix what has been broken.

"I know. I know that! But it doesn't mean we can't be-"

"friends?" he scoffed.

"Why not?"

Jay stopped laughing. He looked at her and after a minutes he looked elsewhere.

"No Erin, I don't wanna be friend with you" he replied coldly before bypassing her to make his way to the door.

"So what do you want?" she followed him. They had to have this conversation or they would never make this work.

"what I wanted was you!" He instantly replied, turning around.

Erin looked at him shocked and then her body loosened. Finally, they were gonna have THE conversation.

But Jay wasn't here to talk about this. He was just here to clear the air concerning work. He shook his head "Forget about that. Now that we are clear, we will work together and that's it. okay?!" he waited for her respond so that he could go.

"Okay" she said in a low voice. Jay nodded and walked away.

When Jay arrived at the district, he directly made his way to the locker room. He had barely opened his locker that Upton entered. She showed up early at work but when she saw Jay arriving in a hurry she wanted to make sure he was okay. The few past days had been very tough for him and she didn't get a moment to ask him how he'd been holding on.

"Morning stranger" she said smiling at him, leaning against the locker next to him. Jay didn't look at her but smiled back. "Hey"

Hailey looked at Jay doing his things, examining his emotions on his face, anything that could tell her whether he was fine or not. Jay caught her peering at him from the corner of his eyes. He frowned and smiled at her weirdness. "What?" he asked.

She shrugged her shoulders in a nonchalant way "just trying to figure out what is happening with you"

"what do you mean?" he was confused.

"Come on Jay you know what I'm talking about…" She waited for him to speak but nothing came out from his mouth. He pretended he didn't understand her and kept doing whatever he was doing in his locker. "Okay I'll speak first." She began. "The girl you once loved and and to who you were ready to propose left without an explanation and came back three years later. And you think you are gonna make me believe that everything is cool with you?!" she looked at him with concerning eyes. "Nah I don't think so. So split it out Halstead."

Jay closed his locker room and turned to face her. He leant on his locker as well and looked at his friend. He shrugged his shoulder "what do you want me to say?" he asked slowly.

"well did you two had a talk?"

Jay waited a little bit before answering this question. "Erin and I have barely spoken since she came back still she's-"

"under you skin?" Hailey finished his sentence. Jay didn't respond but it was silence that was speaking volumes. Hailey looked at Jay with her soulful eyes and sighed. She was about to say something but Jay cut her off "It doesn't matter, I need to move on. Anyway, I have a date tonight and I'm gonna make sure I enjoy my evening" he winked before leaving Upton in the locker room. She was glad that Jay was about to close the 'Erin' book. He suffered a lot these past few years and he deserved to have a happy life.

Today, Erin was partnering up with Kim. Both of them were happy to see each other again. They were working very well together some time ago and were glad to see that their partnership was still as dynamic as it was three years ago.

"So…" Erin said while driving. "How are things between you and Ruzek?"

Kim smiled. "Well, the marriage thing didn't work last time you saw us" Kim replied. "So the first year of your departure I decided to focus on the work and be fully committed to the team…"

"And now?" Erin asked.

Kim was silent for a few seconds before answering her. "Well… we are seeing each other again. But nothing very serious for the moment." She looked at the road.

"Well, I'm glad for you two." Erin nodded.

"What about you?" Kim positioned herself on her seat so she could look at Erin. "Anyone in your life?"

Erin's smile slowly disappeared and Kim could feel her body tense. "Look it's here…" Erin said as she parked the car before getting out of the car.

When the two of them came back to the car, Burgess took her phone and called Voight.

"Serg' we might have found their repair…"

 _"_ _Okay hold on, we are coming to you, send me the address!"_

Burgess immediately obeyed and both of them waited for the back up.

2 van arrived a few meters away from the address and the two female detectives made their way to them. They began to gear up, Burgess was helping Lindsay while Upton was helping Halstead, Ruzek was helping Atwater. They all took their assault guns and began to make their way to the warehouse. Lindsay, burgess, Halstead and Upton took the front door while Voight, Antonio, Olinsky and Ruzek took the back door.

Halstead was the first to enter the building, feeling Upton's hand on his shoulder as a back up.

"CHICAGO PD! PUT YOUR HANDS UP" he began to yell, soon followed by the others detectives, trying to arrest everyone.

When Jay put the handcuffs to one of the guy, he looked around to see if anyone was okay. Then suddenly he saw a man pointing and approaching Erin by behind while she was handcuffing another man.

"ERIN GET DOWN!" Jay yelled as she sorted his gun. But Erin took her gun as well, immediately turned around and shot the man twice.

"Damn it Erin! I said get down!" Jay added angry.

"And I heard ya!" she replied on the same tone. She knew how to handle it, and didn't need anyone. She didn't understand Jay behavior. But Jay still seemed nervous. A wave of terror hit him at this moment even if he tried to hide it. Everyone looked at each other, not knowing exactly how to react to this awkward silence and those glares that Jay and Erin were throwing at each other.

He turned around, took his man handcuffed and like the others detectives, he walked out the warehouse, angry.

When they all got back the district, the interrogation began. Jay let Upton and Atwater do it. He wasn't in a mood to confront these guys right now. He went to the locker room to spread some water on his face. A few minutes later Erin stormed in.

"What was that?"

Jay straightened up from the sink and didn't bother himself to look at her. "What was what?" he moved to the paper distributor and wiped his face.

"You were clearly questioning my judgment earlier? IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"

"Don't you think you are a little melodramatic right now?" he scoffed.

"STOP. Questioning. Me!" she replied angry.

"I was just trying to protect you from being killed!" he threw the paper on the trash violently. He was just waiting for a thank you but it seemed he wouldn't one.

"That's the point! You are still trying to protect me! I don't need your protection! I can take care of myself!"

"FINE!" he responded coldly.

"GREAT!"

"Are you done?!" all he wanted was to get far away from her. He was ready to make some effort so they could perform well at work but at the end it was too damn hard. And not just for him, for her too. He didn't exactly wait for her answer to walk away, leaving her alone in the locker room.

Erin put her hands on each side of her waist and began pacing in the locker room to calm down before going back to work.

The end of the day went extremely slow. The suspects arrested wouldn't talk, even with Voight and the cage. And everyone was trying to find a way to make them talk.

It was getting late when everyone called it a night.

"Okay I'm done!" Ruzek was the first to say as he collapsed on his chair, his hands behind his neck. "Who's up for Molly's"

Everyone stood up and began to shut their computer off and take their belongings.

"I'll meet you guys there!" Erin stated as she was the only one left in the bullpen, with Voight in his office. She made her way to him, knocked at his door and made herself in. It was an old habit for them to meet late in his office and talking about everything.

"how are you holding up kid?" Voight asked sincerely. He looked at her like he always does, with his soulful eyes, like she was the best thing that happened in his life.

"Fine… I guess." She replied laughing nervously.

Voight slowly nodded.

"It's strange huh… After all these years, being back here… it still feels like-"

"Home?" Voight finished his sentence. "You are missed here ya know…"

She had a sad smile on her face. So much memories were brought up during these past days. It hurt a little bit.

When Erin arrived at Molly's everyone was at a table, drinking beers and laughing with each other. This was another thing she missed while she was at New York. She was warmly welcomed as always with a beer.

After a few minutes, she noticed that Jay wasn't present at their table. She began to look around and spotted him at the bar, accompanied by a brunette. For the next hour she was discretely peeking at them, still discussing with her former team. Then Jay and the brunette stood up from their bar chair and began to make their way out. Jay wrapped his arm around her shoulders and waved goodbye to his team. They began to whistle loudly, congratulating him for bringing a girl at his place.

Erin looked at them leave and then looked back at his friends. She drank a long gulp of her beer before she caught Kim's eyes on her. Erin just smiled at her and took another sip. After a few minutes, she decided to go home.

The next day was really hard for Jay as he barely slept over the night. He was awakened by the fingers of the little brunette, running along his forehead, his nose, his mouse, his jawline. Then she began a trail of slow kiss on his neck, his jaw, his cheeks.

A smile appeared on Jay's face.

"Morning detective" she whispered before placing a hand on his cheeks. She slowly moved his head toward her, so she could easily kiss him on the mouth.

Jay's eyes were still closed as he moved his arms around her body to bring her closer to him. "Morning" he replied gently.

"Did you sleep well?" she smiled.

"if we can call it sleep…"

The little brunette laughed.

"What time is it?" he asked. The woman raised a little bit so she could see the clock alarm.

"8 AM" she replied before cashing back in bed.

Jay's eyes suddenly opened widely before he got up from bed. "You need to go!"

"What?!" she frowned. He looked at his phone and noticed 6 missed calls from Upton and Antonio

"I'm late for work!" he began to collect the woman's belongings to bring it to her.

The women got up from bed, quickly got dressed and made her way to his front door.

"I'll call you!" Jay said before giving her a quick kiss and closing the door.

After regaining his breath, he walked toward his bathroom to take a shower.

He arrived very late at work, something that didn't happen to him for a long long time. He was so exhausted he had to hide his dark circle with his sunglasses. He climbed the stairs difficulty, a cup of coffee in one hand, his other hand in front of his mouth to hide his yawn.

But everyone caught him. They were all debating in front of the board and obviously heard Jay arrived.

"Better late than never! right Halstead?" Voight snapped.

"Sorry serg'"

"Do you want to explain why you were late?" Voight crossed his arms. Everyone was looking at him, some of them trying not to laugh in front of Voight, other waiting for a real explanation. Well especially Voight… and Erin.

Jay just shook his head. He had no excuses. Erin turned back to the board, jaw clenched while Jay silently sat on his chair, determined to keep a low profile for the rest of the day.

Voight assigned him on paperwork today to punish him from being late and in bad shape.

By the end of the day, the case was closed. They finally succeed to have a testimony from one of the guy they caught. And this thanks to Erin. She was the one who came up with a plan of approach. Voight was very proud of how his girl evolved, even if he never mentioned it. He thought didn't have to, that she already knew it. And she did.

"You wanted to see me?" Erin asked as she stepped in Voight's office.

"yeah come on in!" he dropped his pen and fully lent his back on the back of the chair.

Erin closed the door behind her and sat in front of him, curious to what he intended to say to her.

"you did good today kid…" he stated.

"Team work…"

Voight chuckled. "Yeah, team work…"

He looked at her for a long time before breaking the silence and telling her the reason of her presence. "I spoke with chief Lugo today."

Erin's posture straightened. Chief Lugo was one of the chief who asked Voight to fire her from the intelligence. And yet, she already knew what Voight was gonna tell her.

"Voight I-" she began to say but was soon stopped by Voight.

"He agreed on your come back as a detective in the Intelligence."

Erin hold her breathe. Everything around her just stopped.

"I- I need to think about it Hank…"

Voight was quite surprised by her answer. He thought she would be pleased by the news but he could see that something was on her mind.

"I have a whole new life in New York…"

"well you have a life here too Erin…"

"no you don't understand. I have a new life…" Erin looked at Voight with insistence. She was trying to tell him something.

Voight stared at her, trying to understand what she meant by a new life. It's only after a few seconds that he understood.

"Oh… you have somebody waiting for you…"

Erin nodded. She avoided Voight's eyes and she couldn't tell why. It wasn't supposed to be a shame but in this context, it was very hard to admit it. She wanted nothing more to come back here in Chicago, but in the same time, it wasn't just her decision.

"Well let me know when you decided" he said as he went back to his paperwork. Erin nodded and walked away from his office.

"god where the hell is Jay now?" Ruzek said as he searched for him in Molly's. There was a lot of people tonight, a lot of noise and a lot of drunk people.

"he's over there…" Upton motioned her head behind Ruzek. She seemed upset. Ruzek looked behind his shoulder and found Jay with different girl than last night. He looked back at Hailey and smiled.

"Are you jealous?" he took a gulp of his beer.

"No! I'm just angry that he is acting like a child these past days. A new girl every night, he is late at work with a hangover, he doesn't talk to me anymore…"

"I didn't realize you guys were fighting"

"we are not fighting. He just…" she exhaled. "he used to talk to me before…"

"before what?" Ruzek frowned. Hailey looked from Jay to Ruzek and gave him a knowing look.

"Before Erin's come back?!" he asked. "oh dear, you don't want to go there. Trust me. I tried some while ago and it didn't go well for me."

Upton sighed and looked at Jay before she suddenly got up.

Ruzek rose his eyebrows and looked at her making her way to Jay.

"come on let's go." She said as she looked at jay. Jay turned around and looked at her amazed.

"Let's go where?!" he asked a little drunk.

"I'm bringing you home Jay!" she insisted.

"good night Hailey" he rolled his eyes and turned back his attention to his girl with a bright smile.

"No good night!" she took his arm and made him get up.

"What the hell is wrong with you" he tried to get rid of her hold but almost fall as he was staggering.

"Stop acting like a child and come with me"

He looked intensely at Hailey and turned around to his date.

"I'll call you…" he said to her before taking his coat.

"No he won't. You were just supposed to be a distraction" Upton announced the girl so she wouldn't be waiting a call that Jay wasn't gonna make.

Jay threw his best friends a glare before Upton walked them out of the Bar.

As she pushed the door, they came face to face with Erin who seemed taken aback by the abrupt opened door.

"Hey…" Jay said drunk as he looked wistfully at Erin. Upton could recognize the tension between the two of them.

Erin didn't respond and looked at Hailey. "Is he okay?"

"I'm taking him home" Upton replied coldly

Once they were on Hailey's car Jay looked through the window. He seemed angry.

"You know…" he began to say but shut his mouth. "I…" he tried again. "Why did you screwed it up?"

"screwed what up?"

"My date! I was gonna take her home. I really liked her this time."

Hailey scoffed. "You think you got everybody fool don't you?" she looked from the road to Jay who seemed confused by what she was trying to say to him.

"No matter how hard you try to deny it, I can tell you care as much about her as she cares about you"

"No, no" he shook his head and looked back on his side of the road, knowing exactly where this conversation is gonna end up. Hailey didn't waste a minute to pursue her goal.

"Did you see the way you looked at her earlier, the way you still look at her." She asked him. "Jay you are still in love with her. You just… are. And there is nothing wrong with that. I mean…" she sighed. Jay didn't respond. His eyes were looking at the emptiness, looking back at their relationship. And it brought him nothing but pain.


End file.
